Anticipation of the Journey

Fall is in the air and the holidays are just around the corner.  Life moves so quickly.  I am in awe that it is that time again to prepare for what has become an annual adventure.  I am filled and nearly bursting at the seams with anticipation.  This visit will be unique to the others.  It lends itself to be complicated.  Messy. Extreme.  Delicate.

 Thinking of the trip can bring some doubt, fear and even misunderstandings.  I am rattled to the core with what I believe God is leading me to do.  40 days.  I can hardly even say the words.  Yes, leaving my family, traveling across the world and staying in the remote village where God took us as a family just over two years ago.  No power, no bathrooms, only the running water of a hand dug well that we assisted the people in digging a little over a year ago.  I will not count the privilege of being in that place until my feet hit the soil, but if God allows, I will be staying with mamma in her beautiful mud hut.

So many questions are swirling.  Only God can take my inadequacies, my doubt, my insecurities and bring peace, joy, contentment, clarity and hope.  We have to be careful who we share with because we don’t want to bring disappointment to those who are watching.  What if it won’t all come together as planned?  Will we bring more harm or hurt than good?  I am choosing to leave my feelings and emotions aside and take one faith step in front of the other.  I am preparing to go.  I am preparing to love.  I am preparing to be blessed by the people I am visiting.  Only God. Only Me. One step at a time.