more than all of the sand in the ocean

Some people lovingly ask me, “Do you miss Ethiopia?” 

I don’t now that there is a word in English that describes my miss… maybe it is how a child and parent sometimes describes their love back and forth.  I love you more than all of the sand in the ocean, more than the stars in the sky, more than all of the Pop Rocks in Candy stores, more than the leaves blowing in the fall….

I miss mama more than all of the mud huts in Arjo.

I miss the kiddos more than all of the cornstalks in the fields and the wheat kernels being roasted on the fire.

I miss the smell of the coffee and the conversations as we huddle even with the language I don’t understand more than all of the pot holes we bounce over and many donkeys we see along the way.

My heart feels wrung out, twisted, stepped on and put back in sometimes.  Is that what “Miss” means?

HOWEVER, much of that is changing for me.  I feel less and less like I miss them and more and more like I never leave.  Sometimes I just pretend I’ve left, like running errands or being away for the weekend.  I know I will be back really soon and being wherever I am, they are still with me.  I am still tirelessly working alongside others to prepare for what’s next.  I know that each time I walk through that stick fence that I am greeted with an even deeper love and understanding.

When I need a reminder I make a strong black fresh cup of coffee and add a little ground clove as the water seeps through the grounds.  The sting in my mouth temporarily takes me home with mama.

Even Taresa has learned a few words at 2 years of age… “Tank Ewe”!  “Good Nite!”

I long to hear those words yet am learning to know it won’t be long. 

Just a really long weekend away.

February 2nd, 2014.  Soon.