Paying Forward Kindness

Can I share a little secret from behind the scenes? I’m hoping you will catch the power of kindness and the economy that says “There is plenty to go around.”.

A couple of months after Julian was diagnosed, I was working so hard to be strong and yet felt so broken at times on the inside. Shane was on duty at the hospital and I slipped home for the evening. I was under strict orders to eat real food, sleep, shower and take a break. I snuck into a nail salon by my house to get a pedicure. One of my favorite ways to relax. One of the girls knew my story and shared with the man who was working on my toes. He didn’t say much. He just worked diligently and gave me the most thorough pedicure I’ve ever received. When I got ready to leave he simply said, “No, No, not this time.” and shooed me out the door. With having just moved and not even knowing this salon, their kind gesture without any strings attached moved me deeply. 

Today I wanted to see Kate and we met at the same salon. Both of us got manicures and visited. It’s a fun way to connect with a busy big girl. I noticed the man in his strong unassuming place at his desk. I was moved deeply all over again. I wanted to do something to give back, or better yet, pay it forward. 

I went to where he was and quietly asked him. “Do you remember me and what you did for me?” I wasn’t sure if he would even remember. He never makes me feel like he did something for me, he treats me with ordinary kindness like everyone else. He said he did. I told him about what we are starting to do at the farm and that in his honor of giving me the best pedicure, I would like to buy 15 more for the moms who would be coming to the farm over the next couple of months. We would tuck them in their Brighter Boxes.  I became a little tearful and he smiled. I just wanted him to know his kindness hit me deep when I needed it most and I wanted to help his shop and pay forward kindness from his example. 

Well we got everything paid for and his wife came to me. She said, “You can not do this alone, we want to help!” I assured her I was not alone, so many beautiful people helping to make it all happen at the farm. She shook her head and brought me 15 boxes of beautiful high quality lotion. She looked me in the face and said, “This is from us for the moms from Luna Nails and Spa.” 

So much generosity. So much kindness. So many opportunities to share kindness and to inspire others. I’m thankful for my friends on the fringes who pay forward kindness. You all are love. 

Sometimes we just need to accept and receive gifts of love and generosity. Sometimes we need to pay forward what other have poured into us. And other times we need to start new and fresh with no strings attached. ❤️

#SupportSmallBusiness #givekindness #MakingLifeBrighter

Mean Girl Nonsense

The sun is glorious today and tempting me to imagine spring might come early. I snuck out of my little farmhouse office early because I simply could not focus. I have a list of so many things I want to work through and I could not get my mind to line up with the tasks at hand. “Stupid, stupid stupid!” with a disapproving tone, is all I could hear. Well, I’m a smart and strong momma and I wasn’t going to put up with any of that nonsense. I laced up my trustworthy walking shoes, started the app on my watch and took off stepping at a very fast pace. When it is 37 degrees outside, even if it “looks” like spring, you have to move fast to keep warm!

I have way more internal dialogue with myself than I would care to admit. It seems like these walks give me permission to really hash it all out without the distractions of my papers right in front of me. At first I just felt defeated. Who am I and how do I even think it is possible to accomplish all I want to do? So many roadblocks, so much baggage, so many self doubts.

I started to run. If you know me well, this was surprising, even for me! I couldn’t let that little voice manipulate and discourage me. I began muttering out loud all I am thankful for. I started fixing my eyes on what I know to be true. I reminded myself I am not alone. I have beautiful friends around me who encourage and help me in so many ways. Sometimes I hear a different still small voice in my heart which whispers love and gentle kindness back to my weary griping soul. When I am outside and alone, it’s easier to hear that voice.

Here is the truth. Sometimes it is really hard to focus. Oftentimes we doubt ourselves and who we are destined to become. What if who we are is enough and all God asks of us? I wonder what would happen if we just trusted him in all of our inadequacies and continued to step one moment at a time? Take the class, write the words, show up for the meeting, make the inquiry, and do all of the things within our power.

I’m back at my desk and I’m taking inventory of my thoughts. Mean girl is back in check and I’m ready to go again. I have reminded myself I am the one who works hard, who thinks smart and loves well. I have written 50,000 words for my book and we are ready for the next step. This is just the beginning of a new learning curve and I won’t give up.

Birthday Eve

It feels like an ordinary Monday. I awake around 7:30AM, freshen up and wash my face.  I turn on the hot water pot in the kitchen and place a spicy Good Earth tea bag in my reusable Starbucks cup. While I wait for the water to boil, I walk around the one main room of the farmhouse and slowly push up the woven blinds, allowing the light to filter in.  It’s a soggy wet sort of morning and there isn’t any sun to be seen. The roosters are noisy—yes, that is plural because we have five.  It’s a Christmas miracle they are all getting along! They came from Julian’s chicken eggs that hatched and his little people friends painstakingly raised, cradled and nurtured them o so tenderly. We just could not harvest them. The big fluffy feathers of the Frizzle breed makes them look larger than life and a little fancy, like they are headed to a very important party.

Here’s the thing, today is the day I should be finishing up the last touches for a very special three-year-old’s birthday party. Instead, I sit with my tea on my oversized, tufted yellow couch and begin answering some emails. I keep plowing through my tasks. One by one, I open the email, I respond to what’s needed and reply. I like that about myself, that I am so efficient. I delete old emails that are no longer useful and try to keep my desktop tidy. And yet my heart is not efficient nor tidy. It knows what today is. I become restless in my seat and take a break. I check on the crockpot and make sure the southwest chicken smothered in homemade salsa is cooking, and it is. The room is filled with the smells of garlic, cilantro and deliciousness.The big kids will be joining us for family dinner tonight. After all, it’s an ordinary Monday.

I snag an orange, pretending like I can just eat a little breakfast and get back to work, and as I begin to peel, I can no longer hold the tears. At first my face gets warm and the dam of tears make my eyes feel like they are going to bulge clear out of my head. until one or two break loose. Soon, they are streaming down my face. Next comes the gut-wrenching sobs. I have to hold onto the sink to keep from sliding down to the ground. I feel the missing and the heartache and the wishes for tomorrow so strongly. In my head, I know I will be okay and I must push forward. I’m allowing myself a moment just to be sad, disappointed and a little bit mad that I am working instead of making a birthday cake for my little man. 

A birthday-party plan should have been in full affect by now. I should have been a little bit frazzled and giddy with excitement, anticipating Julian’s reaction to his special day.  And instead, I’m holding onto the kitchen sink bracing myself against the flood of tears.  Only about five minutes later, I go back to the bathroom, wash my face, and remind myself who I am and how I’m going to choose to remember my little boy. I remind myself of the joy that will unfold when the big kids come for dinner tonight and that my life is not over. There will be more parties and delights in my life. There will be more hard times, too. Life is a constantly spinning funnel, picking up all kinds of experiences along the way. Life is a beautiful gift and tomorrow, on January 12th, I will remember my little boy and yet will not let it wreck me. I refuse to be stuck. I will not stay angry. I will only choose to love more.

A Transformation Unfolding

Who doesn’t love a great transformation unfolding before their eyes??!!  Shane and I have ventured into a new project hoping to bring back to life a property we have had ownership of for over 15 years. The “Farm” as we affectionally call it has been labeled  many things over the last 2 months as first time visitors have come to see how they might be able to help out with specific tasks that must be tackled.  Shack, shed, dump, jungle, hot mess, and just blank stares in awe have been the words used to describe our little piece of land and farm house.  Not exactly words that show beauty is just around the corner! The truth is, the project is the most difficult to see potential in than any of our other many re-dos.  For whatever reason, when I see this little house and the surrounding land, my heart swells from inside and I can feel deep inside what it might become and has the potential for.  I thrive in the ideas and dreams of helping this space become.

It’s been fascinating to me to see so many similarities in the farm as to my own life and how God must see us or desire to work in us.  The farm house has so much yuck, from rodent infestation, carpenter ant deterioration, and mis-matched really old funk, there is so much that just must be torn out before beauty can come.  Before we can allow new stuff to make this house pretty, we must clean out the old that just isn’t working any more.  We must look deep and in all of the hidden spots to find what’s holding back the house from becoming. 

Tearing out, dumping old stuff and beginning with a fresh start is so important.  New perspectives can only come when we are willing to dump the hidden ideas we have carried since childhood.  Positive self talk and care can only floor our heart and minds when we kick out negativity and grudges held long over due. Dreams, ideas and fresh pathways only present when we stop going down the same old rabbit trails that derail us. The best part of all of this is we are not alone.  The master builder sees our potential.  He sees us in the perfection of his creation and he wants to help us be all we were meant to be, so we can pass on love and kindness and share our purpose with others.  I love that so much.  

So as we have been stuck for almost 90 days in demo, the longest a project has ever taken us in the demo phase, I continue to remind myself that we are uncovering beauty.  The tearing down and letting go of the junk is just as important as the rebuild.

Heal Your Garden

The itty bitty disgusting little bugs have crossed the line and have encroached on my pretty tender little cherry tree.  From a distance you would never know.  The leaves are full and green and the yellow & red sweet cherries are shining.  

Isn’t that how an infestation starts? Hidden in small clusters in the rolled up most tender leaves. I have begun to spray them every couple of days with a natural vinegar repellant and have even started cutting back some of the leaves.  Ugg. I can’t help but see the parallel in my own vulnerable areas of life.  Times when toxic behaviors of my own or of others around me have creeped up on me ever so subtly.  I have to be intentional and slow down, look carefully and be on guard for harmful influences, for self talk that eats away at me or the negative people who aren’t really invested in my best interest.

Sometimes pruning is vital to survival and for producing fruit that is worthy of sharing with others. Let us stay on the look out for harmful attacks and be intentional about growing in such a way that others are blessed by the fruit we produce!  

Happy Gardening.

Turn Toward Hope

Health and wholeness…. around 8 years of watching Kenesa struggle with Cutaneous Leshmeisis and he is finally healthy!

The $15k donated medication that we carried in our backpack in September has worked! The swelling is gone, the skin deterioration has stopped, the pain and itchy burning discomfort is no more! We are celebrating! Thankful for medication.

Thankful for this donated gift we could not afford. Thankful for Byron who would not give up and found what we needed. Thankful for the American friend who gave monthly so could support him and his family with the other aspects of medical care as well as the normal school assistance and supplies. We are so proud of this young man who has never given up and stayed in school through all of these years of pain. He never gave up on hope to find his healing.

Where is his smile? It’s there under the awe struck reverent straight face that shows respect and awe for all he has been though and for the big gift he has received. Sponsor a child and change a life. Love always wins.

We Must Do Better

I’ve really been struggling to find my words in regards to what has happened and to know my place in expressing my thoughts. The injustice that has occurred and continues to happen is one of the worst kinds, one that not only hurts an innocent man and his family but the hundreds of thousands who depend on him directly and indirectly. I don’t think my silence is helping the situation so I am going to share my truth, what I have seen first hand.

This gentle man, doctor and surgeon Haileyesus Tesfaye is a leader full of integrity. He believes in health and wholeness for his patients. He works tirelessly for the small child, the vulnerable mother and the elderly who are poor as well as the well bodied strong young men and adults who find their bodies compromised. He does not discriminate amongst his patients but gives the highest level of medical care to every patient. He treats his support staff and nurses with respect and advocates for them to receive supplies and tools to do their jobs.

When we visit, he takes time to maximize the medical supplies we bring, he is patient to teach us and allows us to serve along side him, and he gives of his privacy and family time to be our friends. He loves generously.

What happened in the last couple of weeks, incarcerating and then subsequently clearing the charges and releasing this man is outrageous. He is a man that seeks to be the best surgeon he possibly can be, to empower everyone around him and to bring health and wholeness to his patients. To imply anything other than this truth is shameful on the complainers. So many people have gone without treatment in this amount of time. What a waste of healing being thrown and trampled on.

We must do better to honor those who serve in Ethiopia and give their lives to make our world a better place. We must not be so selfish as to steal away a man’s times that is given freely to the most needy. We must acknowledge disrespect anchored in hatred and corruption is evil.

Letters of Love

In the new handcrafted community center built by the community at well #5, in partnership with aid for the roofing and wooden shutter materials from Embrace Compassion, the children gather around to collect a bright yellow page with their name carefully printed on the top right hand corner.  

One of our treasured volunteers, Mara Klassen, carefully creates and maintains our spreadsheets with all of the children’s names with all kinds of helpful data to keep us organized and to make sure we are preparing for each child by age, especially when we send their gifts.  The yellow pages are written or colored on by the children and turned back in to return to their American friend in the US.  The children are not all writing up to their grade level so they labor over the words they write and the pictures they draw.  

Once we receive the pages back in the US, carried by one of our traveling team members, volunteer Susan Dato helps sort them and prepare them for a Tuesday morning in Canby where more volunteers gather to address envelopes and mail them out to our American friend sponsors.  While the process is laborious and slow, the letters, going back and forth between American friends and our Ethiopian friends, bring friendship, share hope and give purpose for both the sender and receiver. 

We have children waiting to be chosen by their very own American friend.  Sign up at http://embracecompassion.org/how-can-i-help/ or message mailto:jen@embracecompassion.org for more details.

Memories

It’s getting late and I squeeze my eyes tightly. I breathe in deeply though my nose and hold it for a moment before letting the breath escape me. I take a few moments to relive some of my most precious memories in Arjo. I can feel the warmth of the fire on my face and gently blanket my being as I sit very still on a tiny stool watching Asagaduu carefully tend to the coffee for the evening. It’s dark in the 10 by 10 outdoor kitchen except for the stars peeking in between the raw wood wall slats. The sparks jump as she fans the flames and the smell of coffee says it is almost ready.

Such a process to prepare for evening coffee ceremony. Washing, roasting and placing grain for snacking in a small basket as well as doing the same for green coffee beans. Crushing the beans, boiling them in the big oversized black clay pot and gathering everyone around in the living room. Tiny little cups are passed one by one to the guests and adults first.

On special evenings we enjoy a hint of clove and fresh rue. The warmth and burn of the dark liquid brings a savory mouthful of delish. The voices around the room are speaking quickly of stories from the day, the latest in politics and news and details of next community farming day. The students rush to finish homework writing assignments in their school notebooks and the day slowly comes to an end. Each evening with the family I cherish ever so gratefully and the memories I hope will last forever.

Hope Love and Tangible Resources

Propped up on my cushy couch watching the rain run down the windows, I again talked to Beyene who is spending time in Arjo on my behalf and is now catching me up on all of the details. He is a businessman in his own right with a doctorate degree from Germany and does consulting for non profits around the world helping them in a variety of ways. To me, Beyene is a friend. 

Dr. Beyene began to tell me about the last family he visited. Teshome, his wife and two kids live in Lalo. They are about halfway between Nekempte and Arjo and it’s been about three years since I first started stopping at their home on my way to Arjo and back. 

Beyene stopped in the familiar spot on the side of the road by the big tree that helps me find the pathway to their home. Teshome and his wife welcomed Beyene with big open arms of hospitality. They shared stories of their histories, drank coffee and discussed the bright future. It wasn’t long ago when Teshome was an outcast. He was too poor and sick to have visits from friends and to play a part of society. He was shunned and ignored and barely surviving. 

Beyene was amazed to share with me the new joy in this man. With our visits to his home showing him respect, the resources we shared with him to help him practically and the help for his son to have the big tumor removed from his neck had shifted his life. He believes that God brought us together to give him a new chance at life. 

Teshome was beaming as talked about how he had saved enough money to buy an oven for plowing his field. He talked about his crops and how they were thriving and how his community friendships had been thriving. 

Simply showing this man we cared, that he is loved and with some simple resources to help him and his children, his hope was being fulfilled. His faith has been restored and his future is bright. 

It’s amazing how kindness and tangible help truly can be the spark and catalyst that changes not only one life but an entire family and the course of their future. I am so thankful for Deb Moen and Lisa Belfiore who said yes to sponsoring Teshome’s two children which makes what we do for their family possible. Hope, love and tangible resources has preserved this family and will make a lasting impact forever.

We have 12 children waiting for American friends to say yes to stand in the gaps with one of our children and their family. Would you be willing to help? #everyonecanmakeadifference